I heart charts.

I'm addicted. I have to scratch the itch. Right this minute, I have three separate lists in my purse. I like to take them out and pet them and add to them and make multiple drafts of them and double check to see if I can cross anything else off of them. I'm getting to the point where I need to make a list to keep up with all my lists.

I go into psycho planner mode when any sort of party or holiday or decorating opportunity approaches. Naturally, at this point in November, I'm really gearing up. I think people either get it and revel in crossing off lists themelves, or they think list-crossers are uptight, termagant Martha Stewarts.

As contradictory as it may seem at first glance, my urge to list stems from deep seeded fear and only thinly concealed tendencies as an irresponsible and highly forgetful person. I really enjoy the to-do lists, countdowns, schedules b/c they allow me some form of control over habitually inconsiderate and embarrassing scatterbrained-ness. I have to cling to these scraps of legal pad and napkin, otherwise I'm running around town, smacking my gums, standing people up, running late, and taking nine trips to the store.

You should have seen me in college. Hot mess. I had a special affinity for forgetting to pick people up when I said I would, for losing my license and using my passport to get into those hot College Station clubs, for turning in papers late (can you believe professors accepted them?!), for writing checks all over town out of a closed account, for being taken to jail for unpaid speeding tickets (I had to speed. I was always running late.), and so on and so on. The lists are my coping mechanism, my safety net, for not falling back into old empty-headed habits.

Additionally, I've discovered lists can provide a practical and therefore excusable outlet to spend excessive amounts of time getting excited about vacations, Thanksgiving feasts, Christmas giftings, decorating projects. Look at me--I'm doing it even now. Just typing that series of things I like to list gave me a fix. I'm good for at least another five minutes now.

Sometime this week, I'll post my Thanksgiving dinner cooking schedule. It's sweet.