Still Fighting It

For many reasons, last week made me feel grown up in not such a good way, grown up but helpless and still stupid, I suppose. Still learning that the world is not a nice place, and I, unfortunately, fit right in b/c I am not really a very nice person. I like to use the blog as something of a confessional booth if you haven't noticed. How about I discuss the least personal example from last week? I feel like my other revelatory stories are either not really mine to tell or too embarrassing to air to the public.

I was in charge of Thanksgiving dinner for my family on Friday night, and I thoroughly enjoyed the planning and cooking and table setting. (I don't believe in Sandra Lee Semi-Homemade style "tablescapes" per se, so it's more of an exaggerated flower arrangement in my casa. I was just thinking though, what if I had come out wearing a dress made out of the same material as the tablecloth and the curtains and a crazed look in my eye? What do you think Hub would have done? I think one of his hobbies is hating on Sandra. This is making me laugh. I sense I'm the only one though, so moving on.)

Here comes the dramatic sighing. My family had other engagements, so they all came in just before dinner, and it didn't feel like Thanksgiving to me, and I guess that's the way it goes when you get older. Ben Folds once told me that it sucks to grow up. I certainly can't say this is the first time I have felt this way. I mean, I am thirty... ish, so ideally I would already be a grown-up. And, yes, it is a little silly for me to still be holding onto sentimental expectations for the holidays, but it was just a little shift, and I noticed it. I feel like we felt that way after Christmas last year, too. Is that something that returns when you have kids to celebrate with and for? There's my answer. Have a few kids so I can get a little more juice out of my holidays! Problem solved. That probably is the answer actually. I have too much time on my hands to feel sorry for myself.

Speaking of growing up and "Fighting It" and Ben Folds, some might roll their eyes during this video, but I just cried a little watching it. Please don't laugh at me. I can't help this. I don't want to be the kind of person who likes videos like these, but I love this junk. Enjoy.