Thomas Keller, Tim Keller, and Kelly Cutrone

Kelly Cutrone is awesome. She looks rough in that picture because she is hard core. She doesn't have time for ironing and concealer! She's working!

I'll echo Marisa Meltzer in saying that she's my guru. Granted she's a little rough around the edges, but she's all about getting the work done right, creating greatness, and protecting and mothering the people around her. Now, when I say mothering, understand that I do not mean making you cookies and telling you that you're the special-est. I mean honestly telling you what you're doing wrong and motivating you to get it right and ultimately preparing you to go out into the world ready to be successful and not need nuffin from nobody.

Her new book is If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You.

I wish I could be so bold and strong sometimes and really loving to people instead of just... sweet and polite. Because being sweet is not necessarily being kind--being sweet and polite is just wanting to get pats on my head and gold stars on my chart and, at it's essence, is a very selfish thing--and this whole idea connects with a Tim Keller (not Thomas Keller as I often refer to him) sermon that I listened to awhile back.

Clarifying here--this is Tim Keller.



By contrast, this is Thomas Keller. (Although also balding, he is not the same as the man featured above. Thomas is a chef (see his coat and copper pots?) and author. Tim Keller is something else.)


Back to my tangent... Tim Keller explores different reasons people are kind, and he uses three characters from Pride and Prejudice to illustrate these different reasons:

1. Jane-type kindness is kindness to other people based on fear. These actions are a means to an end. Their kindness comes from wanting people to like them and being scared of not pleasing others. As an oldest child, I really want to please and am very uncomfortable displeasing, but underneath that obedience is me making myself happy because to displease scares me. I know that was a little circular--does that make sense?

2. Mary-type kindness is kindness based on control and power. They want others to be indebted to them. It stems from wanting to be superior. It's living life constantly competing with other people. I'll go ahead and confess to this one, too. I want to be the best at everything. Always.

3. Elizabeth-type kindness can come from a sometimes harsh and sometimes prideful personality but due to a shift and gaining humility and perspective, she is kind to others out of true concern and desire to show love, not to get what she wants or fill some hole but to supply to others what they need.

Anyhow, that was a lot of disparate characters and topics to bring me to the point that Kelly Cutrone and Elizabeth Bennett (and Tim and Thomas Keller) are my heroes!