Playing Possum

Rodents of unusual size...


Carter had to get up extra early this morning, and as is our normal custom, he got Lu from her crate, let her go outside, and then theoretically, after she did her business and scratched on the back door to indicate she was finished, he would have let her come snuggle with me while I slept a little longer... but she was out there a really long time. Longer than usual. Longer than necessary.

I asked him what she was doing. "Is she just playing around out there?" Sometimes she does, chatting with the squirrels and chasing Cleo, the next door neighbor cat who wears a bell on her collar (which sweet Cleo enjoys purposely shaking and ringing extra loudly underneath our bedroom window early on Saturday mornings). I've gotten off track.

Carter went to the back door and called for Lu to come inside. And then he noticed what had been detaining her. You know it's coming... it was a gross ol' possum! In the liriope! Nast! And Carter yelled to let me know about it. So I leap out of bed and fumble with my glasses to come to the back door and see it.

As we stand at the door, looking out, rat-hating Carter asks, "Should I go... do something to it?"

"Like what?"

"Chase it away?"

"Um, I don't think you need to."

And he didn't. Our rodent guest unfroze himself and waddled away to the dark of the back gate and, I assume, squeezed underneath, making his near-death escape.

The funny part to me is the length of time Lu was out there with him. I know she tried to play with him. She would have certainly done her enticing jump-away-now-lunge-toward-you-bow down-sorta-growling-invitation-to-play dance in front of the possum. I have never seen her get really scared or intimidated or aggressive with another dog. She thinks everyone loves her and why wouldn't they want to play? Cats are still something of a mystery to her so she avoids most of them, but I know she would have tried to sniff this guy out and figure out if he was up for some chasing or stick tug-of-war. He wasn't.

After the hub bub settled down, I inspected Lu for any obvious bite marks or, I don't know, issues, and she seemed okay, but I was worried that she was going to go all rabid on me under the covers. I read a Chuck Palahniuk novel where a guy's little dog goes all rabid on him, and it was pretty traumatizing to me. It would have traumatized you, too.

Also, when Carter was leaving, I told him just to scream if the possum was waiting for him by his car. Then we each did an imitation of funny high-pitched screams that he'd let out if the possum leaped at his face from atop the car all gangsta style or if he cold-bloodedly sliced at his ankles from his secret hiding place under the car. Ha. Or if ninja possum was hiding in the back seat, about to carjack the heck out of him. I know I'm getting silly, but I think it's really funny.

I tried really hard to find a You Tube video of the Fire Swamp scene from The Princess Bride, but there weren't any good ones. Shocking, I know. I will leave you with this, which is slightly related and somewhat funny.