Friday, July 30, 2010

Susan, Little Rascal, and the Puberty of my Pregnancy

Our appointment went really well yesterday. Our midwife group has a rotating, five-woman, gangbusting posse of midwives. They like their patients to see all five of them throughout their pregnancies, so that they're familiar with all of them.

Susan saw us yesterday, and she was funny and straight-shooting and set me at ease. I have historically passed out when getting blood drawn and also during, um, particular kinds of lady exams. It's an inconvenient quirk of my body. I sort of tell myself to get it together and stop freaking out and just relax, and then I groggily wake up approximately three minutes later with a mob of people hovering over me, pressing cold washclothes to my face. This has happened for a long time... even one time at a high school blood drive when I most lamentably wore a short brown skirt and ended up on the gym floor with legs not so modestly arranged. Not cool. The situation or high school me.

When I informed Susan of my quirk, she demanded of me, "Well, what are you going to do when you go into labor?" I don't know. I've thought about it, and I'm sorta hoping the blinding pain will keep me conscious. Um, we'll see? My best antidote so far has been Carter, who holds my hand and pats my head and reminds me breathe.

We heard the heartbeat very faintly, sort of whoosh whooshing, and fading in and out as that little rascal baby swam gleefully and elusively around my uterus. New nickname? Little Rascal? Does it make you think of this?

So no to Little Rascal.

I've been having some body issues lately. I know. I know. It's vain. Why am I even thinking about me? I should be thinking about tiny hands and developing spleens and skinny little leglets and ear buds. But, if I'm honest, I'm hating my protruding stomach. I really want to be one of those earthy, glowing mothers who feel beautiful and in touch with their bodies... but so far not so much. I don't really even feel pregnant. I forget about it. (Am I going to be the worst mother ever or what?) Carter is calling this period "the puberty of my pregnancy" because I'm in the awkward phase. I'm not my old self, but I'm not cute and pregnant yet either. I'll just say I ready to get this show on the road.

However, last night, I also saw veins on my hips and chest for the first time! Plus, my belly was sticking out so much it looked unmistakably pregnant (but it tends to inflate at night after my enormous dinners and deflate in the morning after I've done a little digesting, so it's gone back down a little). Nevertheless, it was kinda game changing for me to see these landmarks. Looking in the mirror, I even put my hands on my back for extra pregnancy effect drama. It was quite satisfying.


The Kelley's said...

It's pretty cool of you to post so honestly....glad the appointment went well!! :)

Jennifer said...

I've been dying for this update!! I'm so glad that you were able to retain consciousness and hear little Wee Woo scampering about in there!! (Look at all my exclamation marks!)

I almost choked on my enchilada when I read about Carter dubbing this the "puberty of your pregnancy"--that is perfect! I just told K this morning that the numbers on the scale are dropping but I have never felt flabbier--ugh! May be time to consider that dreaded "e" word my doctor keeps throwing around so casually? (He's so mean to me.)

Molly said...

I'm so glad to hear everything went well yesterday! I thought about you all day and hoped it was a good visit.

Don't you love those pregnancy hormones? You're totally in the awkward stage. Once that belly pops out and people stop wondering if you've put on a few extra pounds or are actually pregnant, the fun begins! And soon you won't have to remind yourself you're pregnant...little wrascal (and yes, how can you not think of the old lady in the chair, mountan climbing with her grand children) will do that for you. Yay!

Silver Strands said...

Glad everything went well. When I had my emergency apendectomy I did fine, but my mother-in-law passed out while they were starting my IV. Sheesh :)

The Hayden Family said...

You make the most mundane things HILARIOUS. Each post a little ray of sunshine in my day.

Glad that things are going well!!!!

Try asking the nurse to draw blood from your left arm if you are right handed. They say it helps with the fainting stuff.