Chicken Nuggets

If you think this is about politics, you're wrong. I don't even know the event where this picture was taken.

This is about chicken nuggets.

I respect Michelle's style. In my mind, she has got it down. I watch what she wears because, you see, I have a less-toned, less-moisturized version of Michelle Obama's body. I am intimately acquainted with our common affliction--strong, wide, man shoulders... a raging case of strong, wide, man shoulders. So to see her here in a strapless dress disturbs me a little because I, if I am honest, should not touch anything strapless, and Michele, you are much more fashionable and attuned to flattering styles than I.

I like strapless dresses. My wedding dress was strapless, but it is a sad state of affairs around my armpits when I am in anything strapless because that is when my chicken nuggets are squeezed out on display. Grody.

What are chicken nuggets? Chicken nuggets are not the chicken breast. They are the nasty, leftover bits that wish they were chicken breasts. They are the ugly neighbors to the chicken breast. In short, they are the globules of fat that hang near the pit. And I say this with all sympathy, Michelle has them in this picture. You can't get rid of them no matter how much you work out. Chicken nuggets don't care about butterflies or curls or any kind of lift you can think up. They're genetic. I know b/c I've done research on them. I had them when I was little and skinny, and I will have them for the rest of my life.

Yet, it makes me feel encouraged to see Michelle flaunting hers, as if she will not be bested by her nuggets. I like that.